If it feels like you’re stuck in endless cycles of misunderstanding and disconnection, past trauma might be impacting your relationship. As a trauma-informed couples therapist, I help partners break free from these patterns and build the secure, supportive relationship you both deserve. Contact me today to get started.
Meet your San Diego trauma-informed couples counselor therapist
Ross Kellogg
Hi, I’m Ross. As a seasoned couples therapist, I specialize in helping couples heal painful attachment patterns that often stem from past traumatic experiences. My integrated approach combines somatic therapy, Internal Family Systems informed concepts, and attachment-focused work to address how past experiences show up in your relationship. Together, we’ll create safety and understanding so you can foster secure, genuine connection.
- Credentials: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
- Clientele: Adults, couples
- Location: Southern California
- Virtual therapy: Yes
Common issues addressed in couples trauma therapy
- Repeated arguments that never reach resolution—cycling through the same conflicts without understanding the deeper emotional triggers
- Feeling disconnected or lonely in your relationship despite being physically present with your partner
- Trust injuries from past relationships or infidelity that continue to impact your current partnership
- One or both partners struggling with childhood trauma that affects intimacy and communication
- Defensive patterns that prevent feeling truly heard by your partner
- Emotional overwhelm or shutdown during conflict that stops productive conversation
- Difficulty with vulnerability and emotional intimacy due to past hurt or betrayal
How to get started
Step 1: Schedule your free consultation
Contact me for a free, no-pressure phone call where we can discuss what brings you to therapy and answer any questions.
Step 2: Complete your assessment
During this first full session, I’ll gather more information to better understand your relationship and individual trauma histories.
Step 3: Begin regular sessions
Early sessions will focus on creating safety before diving deeper into past patterns, where the real healing begins.
Step 4: Heal together
Continue regular sessions and emerge with a greater understanding of yourself, your partner, and your relationship.
FAQs about trauma-informed couples therapy
What’s the difference between regular couples therapy and couples trauma therapy?
Trauma-informed couples therapy specifically addresses how past traumatic experiences impact your relationship dynamics. While traditional couples therapy focuses on communication and conflict resolution, trauma-informed work recognizes that emotional triggers often stem from earlier experiences. I help couples understand these connections and learn ways to respond from a place of safety rather than survival mode.
Can trauma-informed couples therapy help even if only one of us has trauma?
Absolutely. Trauma affects the entire relationship system, not just the individual who experienced it. Partners of trauma survivors often develop their own patterns of responding to triggers and emotional overwhelm. In therapy, both partners learn to understand trauma responses and develop skills to support healing and connection together, regardless of whether one or both of you has previous trauma.
What is your approach to trauma therapy for couples?
I integrate Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems, and attachment-focused approaches to address trauma’s impact on relationships. This means we work with both the body’s responses and the emotional parts that developed to protect you. We create safety first, then explore how past experiences influence your current relationship patterns, helping you respond to each other from a place of connection rather than protection.
How do I know if your practice is the right fit?
My approach works well for couples committed to understanding themselves and each other more deeply. We might be a good fit if you’re dealing with recurring relationship patterns, have a history of trauma affecting your partnership, or feel stuck despite trying to improve your communication. I offer a free consultation where we can discuss your situation and determine if my approach aligns with your needs.